


Honey

by peccadilloes



Category: Los Espookys (TV)
Genre: M/M, Post-Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:27:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21844429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peccadilloes/pseuds/peccadilloes
Summary: Juan Carlos asks Andrés to go on their honeymoon anyway. Andrés says maybe.
Relationships: Andrés Valdez/Juan Carlos
Comments: 5
Kudos: 17
Collections: Yuletide 2019





	Honey

**Author's Note:**

  * For [summerdayghost](https://archiveofourown.org/users/summerdayghost/gifts).



Even though his friends despised Juan Carlos, Andrés found him to be not always horrible, not always the worst of all possible outcomes in all possible worlds. Because their relationship was at its heart a business arrangement, neither Andrés nor Juan Carlos really expected to fall into or be in love. Love was only going to ever be a euphemism for maintaining control over the vast piles of money, cookies, and chocolate that their parents had inherited and maintained. Andrés never anticipated that Juan Carlos, with his hard limits around spooky and ugly things, would ever offer to travel with him to Transylvania.

After Juan Carlos married Tati instead, Andrés assumed that everything was over; just as there would be no more inheritance and no more lounging on a giant inflatable swan in the narrow lap pool, there would be no sleeping all day in a coffin in Transylvania with Juan Carlos by his side. He was wrong. Completely mistaken.

A few days after the wedding, Juan Carlos called him on Renaldo's phone.

"Hello?" Renaldo said.

"Is Andrés with you?" Juan Carlos said.

"Juan?" Renaldo said. He was sitting in his office with Andrés.

"Just give him the phone," Juan Carlos said. 

Renaldo passed the phone to Andrés.

"Hello, this is Andrés," Andrés said. Juan Carlos explained that whilst he of course respected his new wife's professionalism, he had already scheduled some influencer-related appearances in Transylvania to coincide with the honeymoon. "Because Tati is taking a big interest in the cookie empire and continuing to build the relationship with Valdez chocolates, she doesn't want to travel abroad. So we thought we'd ask if you would still like to go?"

"Will you scare the townspeople with me?"

"Yes," Juan Carlos said.

"Maybe," Andrés said. His eyes said maybe, too.

"I'll send a car to pick you up tomorrow morning--late morning," Juan Carlos said, "and because you're a visual learner who's prone to lateness--"

"It's okay," Andrés said. "I haven't unpacked my suitcase yet since I departed the empire and left the mansion."

"Okay, chao," Juan Carlos said.

Andrés handed the phone back to Renaldo, who shook his head. "What are you doing?"

"If we get a job, I can help you from there. It's only a week," Andrés said.

"I'd call Úrsula to tell her to talk you out of it, but I don't want to waste my minutes," Renaldo said.

"I'd offer for you to use my phone," Andrés said, "but I don't have a phone."

"Why do I put up with you?" Renaldo said.

Andrés shrugged, "I don't know."

*

So Andrés and Juan Carlos went together to Transylvania.

The flight across the ocean was long and tiring, as Andrés couldn't get comfortable in his nice and expansive first class airplane suite-seat, which reclined into a private bed. He tossed and turned and fussed with his eye mask incessantly until Juan Carlos turned on the overhead light in their section of the compartment. Juan Carlos was wearing his pink silken monogrammed pajamas, and his own eye mask was pushed up onto his forehead. This was Juan Carlos in his full and resplendent beauty rest, but _interrupted_.

"Excuse me," he said, "No, don't contemplate. Andrés, you need to--no, look at me. You need to rest your beautiful little eyes so that you can be well-rested and appear vibrant and alive when we land. You know I don't like it when you don't sleep well. It makes you look like your spooky friends." All of this Juan Carlos said in a sharp but quiet whisper. His tone _was_ sharp and commanding, and yet beneath all of that was fatigue, impatience, insecurity. "You must go to sleep," he said, finally, having exhausted all other possible thoughts in his own beautiful mind. "You, yes you, must sleep."

Andrés rose into a sitting position and turned off the overhead light. Juan Carlos turned it back on again.

"I can't sleep like this anymore," Andrés said. He gestured to the other sleeping passengers that surrounded them, each cocooned in their own suite-seats. "Now that I've rejected my inheritance and you and moved out of my parents, I'm a different person. I sleep in a very small bed with bedding that isn't blue, in a room that isn't blue--"

"Go to sleep," Juan Carlos shushed him. He put his finger on Andrés's lips, then quickly pulled it away. "Little beds are ugly things. We mustn't think about them, especially when we're trying to sleep."

"These beds are small," Andrés countered in a strong whisper of his own. He gestured pointedly at all the other sleeping passengers: the old lady, the young man in a business suit, the priest in his sleeping outfit.

"These beds are large for the plane," Juan Carlos said. He returned to his sleeping pod and promptly fell back asleep. Andrés tossed and turned, then followed Juan Carlos into dream land.

When they arrived in Transylvania, a few guys in vampire costumes were there to greet them. Andrés noticed them whilst customs and security were searching his essentially empty suitcase. He'd brought a few of his clothes that Úrsula had carried out of the mansion, but he brought them in his carry-on so as not to disrupt his suitcase. He was thinking deeply about this: the interiors of luggage, their memories, how the wisdom of luggage might be incorporated into one of the next spooky jobs Renaldo came up with. "Is that a vampire staring at me?" he said.

"You sound excited," Juan Carlos said.

"Maybe," Andrés said. "Maybe I am."

"Part of the honeymoon package is our driver is dressed as a vampire. It's in the brochure," Juan Carlos explained.

"Why are there four of them?" Andrés said. He pointed at each of the three extra vampires individually.

"I'm a good person, so that's why I have lots of fans who show up at airports to see me and get my autograph," Juan Carlos said. He took out a marker from his carry-on and began to autograph his fans' smartphone cases. "I did a workout video in a vampire costume on the plane and uploaded it when we got here," he added.

"Wow," Andrés said.

One of the extra vampires snapped a picture.

"Juan Carlos," another said. "Is it true you're developing a cookie with Valdez chocolates?"

"Yes," Juan Carlos said. He put his arm around Andrés's shoulder. "This is why the prince of Valdez chocolates is here."

"I'm here only to sleep in a giant coffin during the day," Andrés corrected.

"To dream up the chocolate cookie we're all talking about," Juan Carlos said.

Andrés and Juan Carlos rode to their castle in silence. When they got there, after an extensive check-in that dragged on and on, they made it to their first room away from everyone else who knew them. Andrés went to the king-size coffin that was laid out on the floor where a bed would normally be. He took off his shoes and sat inside. Slowly, he reclined. Juan Carlos took off his own shoes and then his socks as well, and then he laid down beside him.

**Author's Note:**

> "No, honey, I know you can do it, but if you're not in costume, I don't know what to tell you." - Julio Torres, _My Favorite Shapes_


End file.
